Do You Need a Grief Kit?

One of the things about being in your fifties is that people are always dying. Sometimes writing condolence letters helps. My memories of the person gone become treasures I can share with those most hurt by their departure. Each recollection becomes a jab at death–you can’t take this away! But when I don’t really know the person, when my love is for those grieving, I am at a loss. My words feel formulaic and trite.

So instead of words, I started making tinctures from herbs traditionally associated with helping the heart through grief. Selecting the herbs, selecting the alcohol for the menstruum, and shaking the concoction daily made me feel like I was doing something useful. And the tinctures were always appreciated. 

Then I realized that the making of the tincture was itself healing. The ingredients that go into a tincture are not only the healing components of the herbs, but also time and thought. Tinctures traditionally take six weeks to prepare. For someone making a grief tincture that means that every day for six weeks, they are given a moment to shake a mason jar of herbs and alcohol and think about the person they miss. At the end of this period, they put this mixture through a sieve, bury the herbs (or compost them) and are left with a heart remedy specific to them. They can take a drop whenever they need it: it will keep for years. 

I began giving friends the ingredients and directions to craft their own tinctures. The response was so positive that we have developed The Lonely Worm Farm Grief Kit. It is a beautiful gift box, containing ecologically raised herbs grown and processed on the farm, a mason jar, directions, dried flowers and a homemade beeswax candle. Our friends from The Arc Greater Hudson Valley help in all aspects of production– harvesting and packing the herbs, assembling the boxes, affixing the labels, and making the candles.  

We will be selling them for $35. All proceeds go to Lonely Worm Farm’s inclusive art and agriculture programming. You can order them on our website. To avoid shipping and handling costs, pick them up at Lonely Worm Farm’s stand at the Arlington Farmer’s Market. Or come directly to the farm. Or our place in Brooklyn. There are many options. Just send me an email and we can work it out. Also, if you have a shop and are interested in selling these kits, let me know! 

In other news, last Thursday, we were delighted to host a group of young readers from Staatsburg Library. Jory showed them how to weave with scraps of old fabric. Afterwards, they were set free to find a flower of their liking, snip its stalk, and weave it into the mountainous labyrinth entrance. Much thanks to Jess for setting that up!

Weaving flowers into the labyrinth entrance.

Gathering supplies.

Weaving with old fabric and wire looms.

Finished masterpiece!

Thanks, kids! We so enjoyed your visit.